An impatient by-stander in those painful extra O.T. hours that allowed the army of mosquitoes seize my rooms by the dusky time when I reached there; lonely hours with a large TV and a laptop and a substantial Domino's home-delivered meal with no one to share because Mr. Bharat has his in-laws and Mr.Mohsinur has a home-bound plane, making it a tedious eating job over an hour; uninteresting Champions League games and the guilt-ridden sight of dust settling over the books in the desk and the tiresome disinterest of picking anyone out of that stack; the hated inactivity and yet an abject surrender to the same demons to lie motionless in the bed pondering, planning, theorizing, reasoning, dreaming and feeling and reeling under many emotions and still shaking them off to watch the game on screen...it has been that kind of a day!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
ASTROLOGY SUCKS!
ASTROLOGY
SUCKS!
The red neon lights of the
billboard was one of the attractions of the ‘Astrology Research Centre’ located in the basement of a building in the heart
of Lajpat Nagar. Sunny Boy had thus reached his destination and I, as his
companion, was lost between alternating states of wonderment and bewilderment.
We had travelled across twenty Metro
Stations to get to that place. Reminiscences from the past hour included the
six counts of tussles to get in and out of the train, the careless bumps, the rude
pushes, the urgent nudges and the undisciplined jostling within the bogey besides
the accelerated Brownian motion of the horde of super-busy people in the
platforms. Such an industrious rush hour surely increased our blood pressures.
Sunny Boy pulled out the scroll in
his pocket and verified the name on display. Below it was inscribed ‘Italian Red Coral – 9 Carats’. That was
the prize he so dedicatedly sought and which accounted for the adventures of
the day.
We pushed in a ginormous door made
of designer glass and wood and found that a group of people awaited our entry
to welcome us. There were two heavyweight Bouncers in charcoal colored uniform
that also matched their skin tones. They flanked an elderly frail guardsman
whose rifle weighed too heavy for him. There was also one female receptionist
standing within her counter to the right of us. She had to her credit playfully
big eyes and a pretty face but in all probability her austere dietary habits
may have caused her to possess a body that looked more painfully malnourished
than attractive. Yet she captured our attention for some time because it took
us a while to notice two other diminutive boys or rather, urchins, who must
have worked there with menial jobs. The lady apparently had an important
position within the counter in one corner of the large room, the other three
corners of which were adorned by exotic flowering plants of foreign origin
within illuminated tubs. The room as a whole was an example of excellent
interior designing with premium woodwork, extravagant furniture and elegant
lighting and the price of the room was beyond our calculations. However, that
was just the ante-room. We knew that, unseen to us, in his grand room inside,
the famed astrologer could be consulted for a fee of 25 thousand!
My dear friend Sunny Boy however spared
me such suffering. He possessed the prescription of an equally rich astrologer
from another state of India. Sunny handed over the scroll to Kareena, who was the receptionist, and
whose name we knew by that time because Sunny was a smooth-talker. She thus did
a good job in engaging her customer for a profitable deal. She declared, ‘There
are differently priced gems by that name and for every carat, you can pay any
of 1000, 2000, 5000 or 10,000 bucks according to the quality’
I just observed in disbelief that
Sunny Boy bought a nine carat stone doling out 45 thousand to appease his
superstitious elder brother who morbidly believed that a ring in his finger
could fight the demons of heavenly bodies to bring happiness in life more than
a bank balance of the money expended!
Sunny Boy no longer had a sunny
face when we exited that black hole of
wealth!
Monday, October 8, 2012
GOTHAM HORNS AND HIS BABY
GOTHAM
HORNS AND HIS BABY
Gotham Horns keeps saying, “I am
not always right but I am never wrong”. The fact that these very words have
been also heard from Garfield should be taken as an example that he possesses a
great mind that thinks much like the one of the cartoon cat!
The other day he did a Sherlockian tour-de-force! As the three
of us were strolling in Patel Nagar, and were discussing about our career
prospects Gotham halted all of a sudden and declared, ‘the baby is now 6 months
old!’
In the next couple of minutes, I
and Md. Sheen were busy locating the baby in question. We looked from the bosom
of one female to another but could not zero in any infant! Thus we could only
take Gotham’s words at face value and turned our gazes back to him, mine with
enacted awe and Md. Sheen’s with overwhelming wonderment like the ever-willing
pupil that he is, and we sought enlightenment together.
Gotham enjoys such unhindered opportunities
of being didactic! He began, ‘of course the baby was 70cms long and looking at
her mother, who was wearing decent make-up and a dress of Vero Moda, I presume they belong to the upper middle class and thus
the baby gets proper nutrition from those substantial breasts, to ensure that
it has had decent growth according to the charts! Then again, the baby smiled
back at her mother revealing only two central incisors and no more teeth and
was utterly restless looking here and there in response to the sounds of all
the vehicles around! If only you could have seen the confusion in the eyes of
the mother while buying supplementary cereal, you would have known that it was
her first time! Lastly, the baby smiled back at me too and called pa-pa!’
All of Gotham’s explanations were
right and Md. Sheen had surrendered to the tirade of resounding arguments with
widely open eyes!
Friday, October 5, 2012
ABOUT GOTHAM HORNS AND THE WORD HE SPELLED RIGHT!
ABOUT GOTHAM HORNS AND
THE WORD HE SPELLED RIGHT!
Though
he caught her arms,
He
was worried of germs!
Her
sneezes were the alarms,
And
thus he regretted his charms!
Gotham
Horns would not otherwise have been so lackadaisical on a date. Three hours
went by but he never kissed the perfect lips he so much praised the other day.
Her noisy sniffles distracted him. The fact that she had a severely deviated
nasal septum did not help matters because with the other nostril blocked, she did
breathe in through her mouth. The odour of that air was poisoned by infected
tonsils.
He is a much superior artist when it
comes to romance and ‘amazing’ is the adjective he has earned over a span of time
like the web-spinning super-hero!
Sir, it is you
who came before?
You are part of
our folklore!
The girl won’t
be seen once more,
We noticed that
since days of yore!
The
waiter of his favourite restaurant had however ceased being amazed with him,
benumbed with too much regularity. The song he sang was meant less for any
glory than it was in celebration of the generous tip that happened to be always
his due.
You cannot be
truer than a hundred bucks!
It is the day
more than your song that sucks!
Is it only I who
can see those sitting ducks?
I commiserate
with the ones I called schmucks!
A
cool breeze came across the lake on the waters of which the ducks sat almost motionless.
It made Eleanor shiver more than the dry leaves of the trees in view.
Won’t you come
closer because I feel the cold?
I haven’t told
you but you are very bold!
Within your
rippling muscles I want to fold!
Isn’t it me you
so dearly want to hold?
Thus
Gotham put down his coffee cup and gingerly advanced his hand to meet the
smallish, tender and so much pretty hand that immediately clasped his one with
growing affection. That very moment he felt the gentle febrile warmth, wet and
sticky with a little bit of greasy sweat and the mucus rubbed off her nose and thus
he fought with the irresistible desire to withdraw his hand to prevent the
incessant transfer of flu-causing viruses.
Three
weeks later, Gotham Horns spelled ‘lackadaisical’ rightly and won a bet!
Monday, October 1, 2012
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